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Stuck in Seaton
"Stuck in Seaton" is the second episode of the first series of Sweet Sow. Summary Peppa Pig is in Seaton, and she is about to compete in the Mold habib beauty pageant. However, when her mother tries to drive there using a stolen car, she ends up in the wrong place. Script (Peppa Pig and Mummy Pig are near an airport in Seaton.) Mummy Pig: We're in Seaton right now, because my daughter is going to show herself off at Mold habib. Unfortunately, we don't have enough money so we can't afford to buy a car here. Peppa: What can we do since we can't get a car? Mummy Pig: Don't worry. I'll take care of that. (Mummy Pig finds a parked car with no one inside. It has the Sony logo on the front and back.) Peppa: Are you sure this is safe, mummy? Mummy Pig: Don't care. At least the police won't notice us. Peppa: What about the hitchhiker? We abandoned him a few hours ago. Mummy Pig: He's probably still in prison. (They both get into the car. Mummy Pig starts it up and begins driving.) Voice: (offscreen, imitating Giovanni from Giovanni Below the Five) Molto caldo inferno! Peppa: The hell was that? Mummy Pig: Just ignore it, Peppa. (Suddenly, someone familiar pops up in the back seat...) Hitchhiker: You forgot me! Mummy Pig: Crap. Peppa: Fred, how did you break out? Hitchhiker: By accessing a wormhole. Duh. Mummy Pig: Hold on, Peppa. Gotta stop the car. (Mummy Pig stops driving and gets out of the car. She then opens the door to the back seat, and holds up the hitchhiker.) Hitchhiker: Hey, what are you doing? Mummy Pig: You'll see. (Mummy Pig throws the hitchhiker out the car.) Mummy Pig: Peppa, open the trunk. Peppa: Alright. (Peppa opens the car's trunk. She puts the hitchhiker inside and closes it.) Mummy Pig: Good. Let's get back inside now. (They both step back inside the car, and Mummy Pig continues driving.) Hitchhiker: Build that wall! Build that wall! Mummy Pig: Peppa? Peppa: Yes, mummy? Mummy Pig: I'm too lazy to drive. Can you please take over? Peppa: Um, sure. (Mummy Pig stops the car, and moves to the back seat. Peppa takes the driver's seat and starts driving.) Hitchhiker: Se non riesci a pagare le bollette, chi pagherà le bollette? (Peppa notices a man in a police car, driving toward the stolen car.) Peppa: Mummy! He's gonna hit us! Mummy Pig: Who? Oh shi- (Their car is crashed by the police car. The man, who turns out to be a policeman, steps out of the police car and talks to Peppa in Sealish.) Policeman: Ylva sé miri divingsus. Peppa: Please speak English. Policeman: Yet vasté y bevit tuy cartridge. Peppa: Mummy, run him over. Mummy Pig: But Peppa, I told you I'm too lazy to dri- Peppa: Just do it! This guy is speaking another language and I can't understand him. Mummy Pig: (sigh) Fine. (Mummy Pig takes the driver's seat and runs over the policeman, killing him.) Hitchhiker: It's so bumpy. Peppa: Thanks, mummy. Mummy Pig: No problem. Peppa: Also, that's not the right route. Mummy Pig: Shit. Peppa: What are we gonna do? Mummy Pig: I'll just look. The pageant's only about two miles away. Peppa: But Mummy, we don't have time. Mummy Pig: Don't care. (transforms into a tall female horse and breaks the car) Peppa: Should we save the hitchhiker since he's trapped? Mummy Horse: I don't think so. He's annoying after all. Peppa: Okay. Hitchhiker: NO! La risposta corretta è otto. (Mummy Pig Horse notices a nearby building which strongly resembles Mold habib.) Mummy Horse: I think we had already arrived at the pageant, Peppa. Peppa: Didn't you say it's two miles away, though? Mummy Horse: Yes, but still. Peppa: Oh. (They both step outside the car and go inside the building.) Hitchhiker: Hello? Guys? I'm stuck... (They are now inside the building, which is actually a bakery.) Cold Toad: Hello, how may I help you? Mummy Horse: Isn't this supposed to be a beauty pageant? My daughter has to compete here today. Cold Toad: Sorry, but we are a bakery. (head explodes) Mummy Horse: Fuck. Peppa: I think we should rescue the hitchhiker. Mummy Horse: Just leave him inside the trunk for now. (starts singing) I'm the manager of your dreams. Because I'll make all of your dreams reality. Peppa: No. (The episode is interrupted with a picture of a human version of Cold Toad shooting herself in the head, with tasteless music playing over it.) Announcer: Cold Toad's FUCK bakery will be back after these messages. (Cut to the hitchhiker in his room.) Hitchhiker: HEY, IT'S FRED!!!!!!!! I just got my new Sony-branded car in the mail today, and I'm gonna show it to you now. (The hitchhiker shows the front of his car in his backyard, which has the Sony logo on it.) Hitchhiker: And here it is! Looks fancy, isn't it? Dr. Robotnik: (offscreen) NO! (The hitchhiker starts dancing around his car like an idiot, and jumps into the driver's seat.) Hitchhiker: What's so cool about this car is that it has a built-in TV screen! You can watch TV and even listen to the radio on it. (He presses a red button, which switches on the TV. It displays a scene from The Barnum Gang Movie airing on SN iSally. Then he presses a green button, which turns off the video and instead plays a strange folk song.) Hitchhiker: See? How neat is that? Dr. Robotnik: (offscreen) NO! (Cut to the hitchhiker driving carelessly outside his house. As he says a location, it cuts to him driving there.) Hitchhiker: You can also drive this car on the road, a train track, a nuclear power plant, a mountain, and the beach! AH- (Suddenly, his car gets splashed by a tsunami. Cut to the same picture from before, with the same tasteless music playing.) Announcer: And now, we return to Sweet Sow. Mummy Horse: Got a head full of plans and schemes. (stops singing) VOMITROCIOUS! (transforms into Muffy Crosswire) Peppa: Mummy? Muffy: I! NAME! IS NOT! IAN BRANDON SOMETHING! Peppa: Why are you so snobbish? Muffy: I DON'T KNOW! WHY ARE YOU SO LOWER CLASS? Peppa: No, I'm not. Muffy: *cries* NO. NO. NO. NO. Peppa: What? Muffy: *starts growing* OH. OH. OH. OH. Peppa: Why are you growing? Muffy: My real name, as I have been told by Kacey, is CHRIS-CHAN!!!!!!! Peppa: What about the pageant? Muffy: Shit. (Peppa leaves the bakery with Mummy Pig, who has returned back to normal. The latter opens the trunk of the car.) Mummy Pig: Hitchhiker? Carry me. Hitchhiker: I'm a rice king, bitch! Mummy Pig: But I'm too lazy to walk. Hitchhiker: Do you like Sex and the City? Mummy Pig: No and carry me. Hitchhiker: Ayyy, nessun bagno! Mummy Pig: Ugh. (falls down) Hitchhiker: Lose weight, fat bitch! Peppa: Mummy? Mummy Pig: Yeah. Peppa: Please get up. Mummy Pig: Why? Peppa: We got to go to the pageant before it's too late. Mummy Pig: No. Carry me, Peppa. Peppa: Alright. (Peppa tries to carry her mother, but she is too heavy.) Mummy Pig: When I was a young girl, I always wanted to be on Jim'll Fix It. Peppa: Wasn't Jimmy a pedophile, though? Mummy Pig: Nope. He was my best friend. Peppa: Oh. Mummy Pig: That is why we are trying to locate his grave site. (Peppa drops Mummy Pig on the ground, and opens the door to the driver's seat.) Mummy Pig: Carry me to the back seat. Don't wanna drive. Peppa: Oh. (Peppa closes the door to the driver's seat, and opens the door to the back seat. She throws Mummy Pig in there, and closes it.) Mummy Pig: Where are we going? Peppa: To the beauty pageant. Remember? Mummy Pig: Nope. We're gonna resurrect Jimmy Savile from the dead. Remember? Peppa: Beauty pageant first, mummy! Soon, we'll be late and it will have already ended. Mummy Pig: I'm too lazy, but we'll go. And I forgot to tell you: close the trunk. Peppa: Okay. (She closes the trunk, and sits on the driver's seat of the car. She starts it up and begins driving.) Mummy Pig: Please turn the TV on. I wanna see what's good on it today. (Peppa turns on the built-in TV. It displays an old, black-and-white rock music video that starts with a shot of a disco ball. It fades to a bearded man looking at the sky while singing in Krockian.) Mummy Pig: Peppa? Peppa: Yes. Mummy Pig: You're inflating. Peppa: Huh? (looks at her inflating body) EEK! Mummy Pig: Just watch The Little Panda Fighter to calm yourself. It's a good movie. Peppa: How can I watch it? Mummy Pig: This car has a built-in DVD player. Peppa: But where's the DVD? Mummy Pig: I have it. (throws the DVD to Peppa) Peppa: Thanks. (Peppa opens The Little Panda Fighter DVD case and gets the disc out. She then puts it in the DVD player. However, it turns out to be something else...) Hitchhiker: (on TV) HEY, IT'S FREEEED!! Peppa: BUT I WANTED TO WATCH THE LITTLE PANDA FIGHTER! Mummy Pig: That film sucks. Peppa: Why? I thought that was the best movie ever made. Mummy Pig: Nope. I lied to you. Peppa: Oh, dammit. (pause) Mummy, are we there yet? Mummy Pig: Not yet. Hitchhiker: (on TV) I'm a Dracula. (starts transforming into a vampire) Peppa: Eek! Too scary. Hitchhiker: (on TV) Crash, Peppa, crash. (All of a sudden, Peppa crashes into another car.) Peppa: Mummy, I hate y- *pops* Mummy Pig: Peppa? Peppa: I'm bleeding. Take me to the hospital, now. Mummy Pig: Can't be arsed to do that. Peppa: Would you really want to lose another child? Mummy Pig: But Peppa, we don't have enough money. Peppa: Fine. Can we go to the pageant? Mummy Pig: Sure. Peppa: Thanks. Mummy Pig: I found a new way to get there. Peppa: How? Mummy Pig: By accessing a wormhole, duh! Peppa: Oh. (Peppa and Mummy Pig hold hands and jump into the wormhole, which transports them to the pageant.) Peppa: We're late. Mummy Pig: Well... shit. Guess we'll spend the rest of the day finding Jimmy Savile's grave. (end) Trivia *The Barnum Gang Movie is a 1996 adult film starring the members of The Barnum Gang. Category:Sweet Sow episodes Category:Fanon